Under the Sheets
Most couples experience great passion and intimacy at the beginning of the relationship. After 2, 5, 10, 20+ years, very few of these couples still have incredible sexual intimacy. Although you have deepened in love, commitment, and verbal intimacy over the years, you may experience diminished passion and satisfaction in the bedroom.
Q: What is the secret to the couples who can keep the fire going?
A: They have amazing communication regarding their sexual needs and preferences. They have learned to integrate their spirituality with their call to sexual intimacy. They understand their own and their partner’s intimate style.
When you are in the bedroom, your natural tendency is to please your partner by doing to them what you like done to yourself. If you have the same intimate styles, this works beautifully.
If you have different styles, you may or may not tell your partner the full truth! It is so sweet the way he does that for me, I don’t have the heart to tell him his technique could be better. Or you may not explain what you like for fear of being shamed for wanting something that is not proper for a nice lady.
Going BEYOND the Five Languages of Love, learning your Intimacy Style is awareness of how you and your partner are wired for sexual pleasure. There are many styles of play under the sheets! These may depend on your mood on a given day, or how you are naturally wired. Your bedroom style is a gift God has given you!
Some couples go years without knowing what their partner’s style is. This is not your fault! We live in a society that has not given us permission to discuss these things. In school we learn reading, writing, and arithmetic, but how many classes have you taken on communication methods, dating techniques, marital spirituality, and sexual styles?