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About Paul 

- Couples Counselor
- Intimacy and Sex Coach
- Enneagram Instructor
- Workshop Presenter


Paul is a couples counselor, intimacy coach, and workshop presenter.  He works with couples to harmonize differences in communication style and intimacy style.  The Enneagram is a powerful tool he uses in his work.

Paul Paiva portrait

Sex-Positive Christianity

Rev. Paul Paiva, M.Div., M.A., is a former Roman Catholic priest who performs romantic and entertaining wedding ceremonies. He is a devout Christian who is sex-positive, meaning an acceptance that sexual pleasure is something that is beautiful and an essential part of being a human. He does couples counseling, pre-marital counseling for engaged couples, and is a certified intimacy & sex coach who teaches the Erotic Blueprints™ from a Christian perspective, for singles and couples who want to ignite their passion, including those affected by religion-induced shame. He teaches the Enneagram and uses it as a tool for personal growth for couples, individuals, and groups. Paul actively blogs, vblogs, and speaks on various topics on faith and intimacy.

My Story:  Pastoral Work prepared me for Couples Counseling and Intimacy Coaching

When I was a committed, celibate priest, women and men came to me for pastoral counseling; many were married, engaged, or dating. Over the years I observed that these people knew more about Love than I did. In relationships, you talk, dialogue, compromise, and discuss. You learn empathy, how to listen, how to be selfless, how to be loving and caring. You may have differences in your values. Or differences in libido. Or have different political affiliations. As a celibate priest living in the rectory, because I was not in a romantic relationship, I was at risk for being complacent about my spiritual growth. My congregation put me on a pedestal. I could become arrogant, aloof, and uncaring, and I would likely not be challenged. That cannot happen in a thriving relationship. It is truly a beautiful vehicle for becoming a more loving human being.

Qualifications and Certifications

  • Former pastor and priest, Roman Catholic Church
  • Certified Erotic Blueprint™ Sex and Intimacy Coach
  • International Enneagram Association (IEA)Enneagram Colorado (Colorado Chapter IEA)
      • Former President and Board Member (2004-2006, 2015-2022)
    • Professional member
  • Enneagram Instructor with CoCreative Intimacy, CoCreative Journeys, and Enneagram Colorado
  • Certified SYMBIS facilitator for Pre-Marital Preparation.
  • Sixteen years officiating wedding ceremonies and working with couples for pre-marital preparation and couples counseling

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Continuing Education

  • International Association of Marriage and Family Counselors (IAMFC)
    • Gottman Method Couples Therapy:  A New Look at the Concept of Homeostasis  7/2023,
  • American Counseling Association (ACA), March 2023 Annual Conference, Toronto
    • Sex and the Sacred - Complex intersections of Sex and Religion in Counseling
    • Using Faith Practices in the Healing of Trauma
      • Nicole G. Johnson, PhD, Angelle E. Richardson, PhD
    • Human Sexuality Counseling:  A Sex Positive Approach
      • Angela Schubert, PhD
    • Why and How Counselors Should be Saying "Let's Talk about Sex" to our Clients
  • Trauma-Informed Coaching, 2021