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About Paul Paiva

Couples Counselor

Intimacy and Sexuality Coach

Enneagram Instructor

Paul is a couples counselor and intimacy coach who teaches the Erotic Blueprints™ from a spiritual or Christian perspective.  He works with couples to harmonize differences in communication and intimacy style.


Paul Paiva portrait

Sex-Positive Christianity

Rev. Paul Paiva, M.Div., M.A., is a former Roman Catholic priest who performs romantic and entertaining wedding ceremonies. He is a devout Christian who is sex-positive, meaning an acceptance that sexual pleasure is something that is beautiful and an essential part of being a human. Sex is a spiritual gift for making stronger the bond with your spouse.  He does couples counseling, pre-marital counseling for engaged couples, and is a certified intimacy & sexuality coach who teaches the Erotic Blueprints™, for singles and couples who want to ignite their passion, including those affected by religion-induced shame. He teaches the Enneagram and uses it as a tool for personal growth for couples, individuals, and groups. Paul actively blogs, writes, and speaks on Post-Denominational Sex-Positive Christianity, women's reproductive and sexual autonomy, celibacy, sexuality, and the Catholic Church.

Pastoral Work prepared me for Couples Counseling and Intimacy Coaching

When I was a committed, celibate priest, women and men came to me for pastoral counseling; many were married, engaged, or dating. Over the years I observed that these people knew more about Love than I did. In relationships, you talk, dialogue, compromise, and discuss. You learn empathy, how to listen, how to be selfless, how to be loving and caring. You may have differences in your values. Or differences in libido. Or have different political affiliations. As a celibate priest living alone in the rectory, because I was not in a romantic relationship, I was at risk for being complacent about my spiritual growth. My congregation put me on a pedestal. I could become arrogant, aloof, and uncaring, and I would likely not be challenged.  That cannot happen in a thriving relationship. It is truly a beautiful vehicle for becoming a more loving human being. 
 
 
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Qualifications and Certifications

  • Master of Divinity (M.Div), emphasis in pastoral counseling
  • Master of Arts in Theology (M.A.)
  • Former pastor and priest, Roman Catholic Church
  • Certified and Licensed Erotic Blueprint™ Sexuality and Intimacy Coach
  • Continued Education - Trauma-Informed Coaching (2021)
  • Former President and board member, Enneagram Colorado, the Colorado Chapter of the International Enneagram Association (2004-2006, 2015-2022).  EnneagramColorado.org
  • Enneagram Instructor with CoCreative Intimacy, CoCreative Journeys, and Enneagram Colorado
  • Professional member, International Enneagram Association (IEA)
  • Certified SYMBIS facilitator for Pre-Marital Preparation.
  • Sixteen years officiating wedding ceremonies and working with singles and couples for pre-marital preparation and couples counseling